All About Us Read online

  I haven’t even reached the counter and I’m spun around. Dane’s eyes meet mine and a gasp slips out at the heat in them, my heart pounding as his lips come crashing onto mine.

  To say that Dane is an excellent kisser is an understatement, no kiss I have ever experienced comes close to this level. I can feel it all the way to my toes. Everything I have been withholding and denying myself is being released into the pressure of my lips on his.

  Our tongues meld together as he deepens the kiss and his hands move from my cheeks into my hair. He is pulling slightly to angle my face to his and it causes passion to flare through me. We groan into each other as I press my body into his.

  As he deepens the kiss even more, lips pressing into mine with unrelenting passion, his hands glide from my hair to my hips, before gripping my ass and lifting me. My legs wrap instinctively around his waist, holding me tightly to him.

  He pushes me up against the kitchen wall, I hadn’t even noticed we were moving, and I moan as he grinds his hips into me. The feel of his arousal has me soaking wet and I tilt my head back as I swivel my hips into him. His mouth moves hungrily over the tender skin of my neck before he nips my ear.

  The friction between us builds and I’m almost there when he’s suddenly, gently, setting me on the floor with a feather of a kiss on the lips. A growl of displeasure slips out of me and he chuckles. My eyes close as the sound causes my body to tremble with desire.

  “This isn’t a game to me Emma. Although, if it were, I think we know who won. That’s just something to think about, I will see you tomorrow.” He brushes his lips against mine again and walks away from me.

  Keeping my eyes closed, I slump against the wall, only opening them when I hear the door close. Oh my. Sliding down the wall my fingers move to my swollen lips in a daze. My body is throbbing and there is an unsatisfied ache in my core. If Dane can do that with a simple kiss the thought of taking it further makes me tremble with anticipation.

  His words resonate within me. If it’s not a game to him then his feelings must be real. A smile grows on my face, maybe we could do this. Is there a possibility that I can have it all with Dane? I finally acknowledge that my feelings for him run deeper than lust, I’m not ready to say I’m in love with him, because let’s be real how can it happen that quickly, but if all goes well I could let myself love him as more than a friend.

  I’ve been sitting against the wall, frozen in a swarm of thoughts and arousal when a knock at the door startles me out of my internal musings. Jumping up hoping it is Dane coming back to finish what he started, I race to the door and fling it open with a big grin. My jaw drops at who is standing there.

  “Alex?!” Hurling myself out the door and into his arms, I breathe in his familiar and comforting scent. He has worn this soft, masculine cologne for as long as I can remember and it reminds me of home.

  Alex hugs me hard and tears start to flow down my cheeks. “It’s really home now.” Stepping back I take him in. It has been less than a month since I’ve seen him, but I missed him tremendously.

  His bright hazel eyes shine at me as I examine him closely. He has dark circles under his eyes and I tsk him for pushing himself so hard. His short hair is messy but that is the norm for him, as is the five o’clock shadow that graces his jaw. He is wearing his usual tattered jeans and a t-shirt that shows off the hard work he puts into his body.

  Alex works out tirelessly. It’s one of the ways he started escaping his mother and he kept it up even after moving in with us. Throwing myself back into his arms for another hug, he laughs as I squeeze him as hard as I can.

  “I wanted to surprise you. I was hoping to be here a couple of hours ago but there was a major crash just outside of Jasper. I’ve already put Chandler in with the girls and tossed them some hay.” I pull him inside and shut the door before hugging him for a third time.

  This is the longest Alex and I have been apart since he moved in with us nine years ago. Recalling when he started showing up at our house with burn marks on his arms from his moms cigarette’s makes me squeeze him harder. This man has been through so much in his life and yet he is one of the kindest, positive and most genuine people you will ever meet.

  “Are you hungry? I think I have some leftover chicken lasagna in the fridge.” Knowing he can’t refuse my chicken lasagna I chuckle as he pretends to drool. Before I know it he has scooped me over his shoulder and is running frantically through the house yelling “Chicken lasagna!” making me laugh one of those full belly laughs. He sets me down once we are in the kitchen and starts scrounging around.

  Plopping myself onto a stool, I lean my head onto my hand and watch him. The stress of the long day shows in his hazel eyes but he is smiling and I can tell he feels the shift in me by the light in his eyes as he glances at me. His broad shoulders begin to relax as he heats up the lasagna and he turns to study the house before returning his focus back to me.

  “You look good. This place has done wonders for you.” He states it as a fact and I know he doesn’t expect a response.

  When I left to come up here I had big purple shadows under my eyes and they had lost some of their shine. Even I could see the change the past weeks have brought about in me. As we sit in companionable silence ideas start flowing through me and I quickly boot up my laptop. Alex is used to my writing sprints and eats in silence. After he is done he grabs his bag from the floor and meanders upstairs. I hear the shower turn on and smile to myself feeling complete. My little family is all here and for the first time since my parent’s accident I feel truly happy.

  Hot water flows over me as I try to ease some of the tension from my body. Walking away from Emma was difficult and I’m suffering for it but I don’t want our relationship to start off with sex. It’s taking all my willpower not to go back over there, but I know it’s the right thing. She is not someone to spend the night with and that is it. She is someone to build a forever with and I don’t want our forever to start in a lust filled haze, even though my body hates me right now.

  As I crawl into bed, I see the lights are still on in her house. Damn I want to go back so badly. Instead I drop my towel and crawl into bed, closing my eyes and trying to make myself sleep.

  Over an hour later I’m still tossing and turning. The need to see her is so strong, I sit up in bed to look out the window. If she is still up I won’t be able to resist the temptation any longer. The moonlight is bright and I see that her house is dark. Groaning in disappointment, I lie back down and think of surprising her in the morning. Yes, that’s what I will do. As soon as chores are done and before breakfast, I will surprise her.

  Persistent knocking at my front door startles me awake from a deep sleep. Squinting at the clock as I roll groggily out of bed. Groaning irritably when I see its only 5:30 a.m. What. The. Fuck? Stumbling out of my room, I see Alex is almost at the door.

  He opens it as I start making my way carefully down the stairs, knowing me I will slip and tumble down them if I’m not careful especially in this state of only partial awareness.

  Dane stands on the other side of the door. His face goes from smiling to shock in a split second as Alex greets him sleepily. I’ve just reached the bottom of the stairs and he looks over at me and then shifts his eyes from Alex to me and back to Alex. Hurt flashes through his eyes before he hardens his face into a look of stony disgust.

  “I’m sorry,” he chokes out, “I didn’t realize you had company.” Turning on his heel he stalks away. Frozen in place, it slowly dawns on me that Alex opened the door in his boxer briefs and I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs in my sleep shorts and tank top.

  “Well that can’t be good.” I mutter sleepily. Alex looks at me, rolls his eyes, and stumbles back to bed. Looking at the door, I contemplate following Dane, but I hear his car screech out of the driveway. Feeling annoyed that he didn’t stay before making assumptions I go back to bed, I will deal with that later. Slowly I climb back up the stairs and face plant back into bed.

  I
t is several hours later before I make my way back downstairs. Entering the kitchen I walk to the fridge and start pulling food out, “Instead of going next door for breakfast, why don’t we stay here and visit?” If I’m being honest with myself, I’m avoiding confrontation with Dane. Alex moves from the couch and shakes his head at me.

  “You’re going to have to face him sometime.” Straight to the point is Alex’s style with me. We know each other too well to try anything else, so we gave up beating around the bush a long time ago.

  “This is why I didn’t want to act on how I was feeling.” I pour us some coffee before starting on putting together breakfast. Talking to Alex always helps me, he is able to bring a different perspective or give me something to think about.

  “It was unfortunate timing . . .” He trails off. Well, usually he is helpful. Frowning at him, I start mixing up eggs to make omelets and resist saying something sarcastic.

  “You know, I’m a little irritated. Who shows up at 5:30 in the God damn morning? And then to not even stay so I can explain. Argh! You know what? He can be mad, he’s not going to ruin our reunion day!” Alex just looks at me as I vent. He knows better than to point out where my anger is truly coming from, fear. I can feel it coursing through my veins and I turn my attention to the package of bacon in my hands as I fight back tears.

  “You didn’t have a nightmare last night.” He changes the subject. Arching an eyebrow at him I decide to let him get away with it because truthfully I’m grateful.

  “They are becoming less and less. I thought I would have one, I talked with Lia about the accident and all my struggles, but I think having you home made a difference.” I exclude the fact that Dane also played a part when he came to visit and made my toes curl with his kiss.

  As we finish washing our breakfast dishes, I remember the plastic eagerly waiting for us. “I have something fun planned for us, but since you’re here sooner than expected, you need to help me set up.”

  My property has the perfect hill for a slip and slide and while we were in town the last time I had bought some plastic so we could have a slip and slide party when Alex arrived. In the back of my mind I also know it will provide me an opportunity to see when Dane comes back. He has been gone for over four hours and even Lia doesn’t know where he went.

  After changing into our swimsuits, I grab some towels and we head outside.

  As I finish rolling out the plastic, Alex goes to the side of the house to find a longer hose.

  “What are you doing?” I jump as Lia startles me.

  “Alex and I are making a slip and slide. You and Ryan should join us.”

  “Alex? Oh! That is where that truck and trailer came from. He’s here early.”

  “He wanted to surprise me. Arrived last night shortly after Dane left.” Blushing, I turn away as I think about the amazing kiss.

  “Something happened between you two finally, didn’t it?” She smugly asks. Nodding, I straighten out the already perfect plastic.

  “We kissed and then he left. But he came by early this morning and Alex answered in his underwear. He didn’t even stick around to see what was going on, he just took off.”

  “What all have you told Dane about Alex?”

  “I guess I’ve never really mentioned him to Dane. He saw him call my first night but other than that the topic hasn’t come up. And he hasn’t been around when Alex has called. You never filled him in on that?”

  “I guess I never really thought it would be necessary and, to be honest, I always wondered if there was something more until you started seeing Johnathan. I can see why he took off since he didn’t know the story around Alex. Dane’s high school girlfriend was a bit of a slut. It’s uncertain if she ever cheated on him, but he is pretty sensitive about feeling like a fool and hasn’t really let anyone get close since.”

  “Shit. Hopefully he comes back soon so we can straighten things out.” Biting my lip, I stress over the way he left. Now that I understand why he would have reacted that way, all I can think about is making it right. I don’t want him to feel like a fool for kissing me and I definitely don’t want him to think anything is going on with Alex and me.

  “Well, as fun as this looks, I need to go to work. I will text you when Dane comes home, although I’m guessing you will already know.” Nodding distractedly I gaze towards the road, worrying my lip between my teeth as I wonder when Dane will come back. Lia leaves me to my pondering with an empathetic look. “You guys will sort things out.”

  Alex comes back with the hose as Lia is walking away. Gesturing in her direction he inquires, “Who was that?”

  “That was Lia. She can’t slip and slide with us but we will still have fun.” Attempting to brighten the mood I steal the hose from Alex and spray him. As he stands there soaking wet, I can’t help but burst into laughter. Before I can run away, Alex has wrapped me in his arms and is wrestling the hose away from me. We are laughing and wrestling in the water when Dane drives up and parks. He glances over at us with a sullen and resigned look in his gaze as he gets out of the car and heads into the house. Stopping and hanging my head, I run my palms over my face and sigh.

  “Why don’t you go over there?” Alex asks quietly. He knows I want nothing more than to fix this now, it’s always been my way. Once I’m done being angry about something, I want it dealt with and forgotten. Looking down at my bikini clad body and the hose now running water down the slip and slide, I shake my head.

  “I do want to fix this, but I also want us to have our day. Let’s enjoy the sun and play on the slip and slide and I will go there after I’ve cleaned up.” Alex shakes his head, but knows it’s futile to argue with me.

  For the rest of the afternoon we slide and have a water fight. Ryan arrives home from work and we ambush him as he gets out of his truck. Yelling a fake battle cry he grabs the water gun from Alex’s hands and chases after me. Throwing myself down the hill, I grin when I hear Ryan say, “Aw, what the hell” and jumps onto the slide after me. We play around for a while longer before calling it a day.

  As we clean up I realize the guys haven’t had a chance to be introduced so I gesture between them. “Ryan, this is Alex. He has lived with me and my parents since I was 14 years old.” The guys start talking and seem to hit it off.

  Excusing myself, I head inside to get cleaned up and mentally prepare myself to sort things out with Dane. Now that I have opened up to the possibility of being more, it terrifies me to think he may not listen to me. I wasn’t always so fearful of losing people, but having three of the most important people in my life torn away from me has left me damaged. I’m scared to let anyone in for fear of losing them, especially with the issues I’m working through.

  As I shower and get dressed, I’m in pep talk mode. Reminding myself of the confident woman I was a year ago I straighten my shoulders and walk over to their house. Ryan and Alex are still talking as Alex feeds the horses and they wave at me as I pass by. Alex gives me an encouraging smile and Ryan winks in the way that only he can.

  Taking a deep breath before opening the front door, I slowly walk into the house. I wander throughout trying to find Dane before making my way to his bedroom. Leaning into the door, I hear him moving about inside.

  Taking a deep breath, I knock, “Dane?” The movement in the room stops and silence greets me. “Please open the door so we can talk.” My voice cracks a bit when there is no movement towards the door from the inside.

  The realization that he is not going to answer slowly sinks in and tears start to well in my eyes. Waiting a moment longer before I turn and slowly head back down the stairs. Pausing at the front door there is still no movement so I head home, shoulders slumped and gaze on the ground.

  The weight of my fear hangs heavy over me and I avoid meeting both Ryan and Alex’s gazes in order to maintain my composure as I walk into my house, calling Chloe in with me, and up to my room. Stoically closing the door and crawling into bed with Chloe wrapped in my arms before I let the tears bre
ak through. Although I try to tell myself that I know that Dane will come around at some point, he is just hurt and angry, my heart still feels as though I have experienced another significant loss and it aches in a way that I haven’t felt since coming here. It’s with tears in my eyes and my face buried into Chloe’s neck that I fall into a restless sleep.

  I’m so fucking angry. Emma is not who I thought she was and the pain, both physical and emotional, coursing through me at that realization is crippling. Dropping onto my bed, I slam my fist into the mattress.

  I can’t just fucking sit here. I need to forget her looking sexy all sleepy and in her pajama’s. That guy was built better than I am otherwise I would have punched him for stealing the person I have dreamt about since we were children.

  Picking up my phone, I dial without thinking and wait for the familiar voice on the other end of the line.

  “Hey man, what’s up?” My best friend sounds like he just woke up. Looking at the clock, I realize that it’s barely past six in the morning.

  “Shit Jesse, I didn’t even think about the time. I need a night out, want to go to Linger tonight? I could use my wingman.” Jesse has been my best friend since high school and even though life makes it difficult to spend much time together he is still my bro and that will never change.

  “Wingman? What about that chick you were so into? That one you knew as a kid?”

  “Sometimes people don’t turn out how we expect them to.” Jesse doesn’t push or pry, he just agrees to meet me at Linger that evening.

  ***

  Linger Bar and Grill looks like a dive on the outside. The worn cedar siding, blacked out windows and crooked sign ward off people driving by. They’re missing out.

  Laughter, glasses clinking and the smell of delicious food assaults all my senses as I walk into the pub. Michael, the owner of Linger, did an amazing job when he bought and renovated the building. He intentionally left the outside alone, it keeps the crowd small. The inside though, it could easily become one of the places to go, it’s a must see.